Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature.

Whenever one or more creatures attack an opponent or a planeswalker an opponent controls, those creatures gain menace until end of turn.

Whenever a token you control leaves the battlefield, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.

If you control a commander, you may cast this card without paying its mana cost
Exile target creature.

As an additional cost to cast this spell, tap an untapped creature you control.
Exile target tapped creature. Put a +1/+1 counter on the creature tapped to cast this spell.

Companion—Each nonland card in your deck has an odd converted mana cost. (If this card is your chosen companion, you may cast it once from outside the game.)
If a source you control with an odd converted mana cost would deal damage, it deals double that damage instead.

Choose odd or even. Exile each creature with a converted mana cost of the chosen parity. (Zero is even.)

Creatures you control have base power and toughness 3/3 until end of turn. You may search your library and/or graveyard for a card named "Oko's JoJo Reference", reveal it, and put it into your hand. If you searched your library this way, shuffle it.

[+1]: Put two +1/+1 counters on up to one target creature you control.
[0]: Until end of turn, "Oko's JoJo Reference" becomes a copy of a creature you control. Prevent all damage that would be dealt to him this turn.
[−7]: Until end of turn, each creature you control has base power and toughness 10/10 and gains trample.

Escape-, exile three other cards from your graveyard. (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its escape cost.)
"Ol' Skullhead Jones" escapes with a +1/+1 counter on it.

Trample (This creature can deal excess combat damage to the player or planeswalker it's attacking.)
"One in a long line of Immortal Iron Fists" power is equal to the number of instant and sorcery cards in your graveyard.
When "One in a long line of Immortal Iron Fists" enters the battlefield, discard up to two cards, then draw that many cards.

Flying
Whenever a source controlled by an opponent deals damage to "Online Salty Boy", that source's controller loses that much life unless they sacrifice that many permanents.
Madness (If you discard this card, discard it into exile. When you do, cast it for its madness cost or put it into your graveyard.)

Oozes you control get +1/+1.
At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control a commander, create a token that's a copy of "Ooze: Origins".

Whenever you sacrifice a permanent, "PHENOMANL COSMIC POWER, itty-bitty head" gets +2/+0 until end of turn.
, Sacrifice a creature or enchantment: "PHENOMANL COSMIC POWER, itty-bitty head" gets first strike until end of turn.

Target player gains 5 life. "Part of Your World" deals 5 damage to any target. You draw five cards.

Whenever you sacrifice a permanent, "Playhem Devil" deals 1 damage to any target.

As "Professional Stunt Performer" enters the battlefield, choose odd or even.
"Professional Stunt Performer" has protection from the chosen converted mana cost.

"Pull My Finger"'s power is equal to your to devotion to blue.
Creatures and enchantments you control have "Spells your opponents cast that target this permanent cost more to cast".

When "Punk Mentor" enters the battlefield, put a lifelink counter on target non-Human creature you control.
, : Put a +1/+1 counter on each creature you control with lifelink.

Sacrifice "Quite Possibly, the Goodest Boy": Another target creature gains indestructible until end of turn. (Damage and effects that say "destroy" don't destroy it.)